Having a real, true authentic to you style is a completely self-centered pursuit.

And it should be!

There's no room for others in the pursuit of building a style that you truly love.

You're the one who has to exist in these clothes all day long. Not anyone else. Therefore, it's wise to make it all about you.

I’m not saying not to think of others, but what you love and what you want to wear isn’t about someone else. You are unique, and your personal style is, too! Sure. You can take inspiration from anywhere. It’s all around. But it’s about what you love and what makes you happy.

And maybe that's why style gets pushed to the back burner in so many women's lives...because it means putting yourself and your own needs first, which we often equate with being selfish.

So many women hold themselves hostage, unwilling to do what they want instead of what everyone else wants for fear of being called ‘selfish.’ And it makes sense. Our whole lives we are praised and rewarded for our selflessness and at the same time often scolded, punished or shamed anytime we do something without considering how our actions could impact someone else.

The more sacrifices you make for the sake of others - your family, your job, your community - the better. And that societal ideology is what holds us back from a lot of things.

But who is it better for? Certainly not for you! Because self-love is sooooo important!

Being selfish is being true to yourself.

It’s kind of like the airplane thing - when the stewardess says that if something goes wrong, you need to put on your own oxygen mask first before making sure that others are okay. Because if you literally can’t breathe, you certainly can’t help anyone else.

That analogy applies to so many things in life. You have to take care of you first. Then, and only then, are you in a position to help other people. In this case, selfish is a great thing!

And the same goes for your style choices.

You’re not dressing for everyone else.

Those days have been over since middle school. It’s time for you to finally stop dressing to impress others and start dressing to express yourself.

Wearing what you love because you love it and it makes you feel fabulous. Not because your bestie thinks it’s cool. (Which she totally will anyway - that’s why she’s your bestie! If you’re happy, she’s happy.)

In the end, you know what you love, and that may not be what someone else loves. And that’s totally okay. You may not love what someone else is wearing, either! If that’s selfish, then sign me up!

Think about it this way. Let’s say you absolutely adore the color purple. (The actual color, not the movie, obviously.) Maybe you needed a new car, and it came in purple so you bought it. Your neighbor may look at that car and think it’s hideous. “I don’t know why she bought that…” We’ve all had a neighbor like that, haven’t we?

But it doesn’t really matter, does it? Because your neighbor isn’t paying your car payment. And your neighbor isn’t driving it. And when you step out of your house in the morning and look at your purple car in your driveway, it makes you smile! Just like her car makes her smile. It’s definitely not selfish to love what you drive.

So why don’t we feel the same way about our style choices? Strangely, many women feel an obligation to appease others while putting their own needs and wants aside when it comes to things that involve our physical selves.

But the funny thing about wearing what makes you feel great is that your personal style naturally accentuates your personality. That’s why when you look and feel amazing, everyone else will think you look amazing, too!

It’s an aura you project to others around you. It doesn’t matter what color or pattern it is at all. It’s about the reflection of your personality.

The very definition of selfish is actually also the perfect way to discover your true, authentic style.

Selfish is defined as:

“Lacking consideration for others; concerned chiefly with one's own personal pleasure.”

If you take those two steps when it comes to getting dressed (i.e., don't consider others opinions, thoughts or reactions and solely focus on your own pleasure), I guarantee you'll LOVE your style.

So, how do you get there?

You can start by taking back the word selfish!

As a matter of fact, let’s change it to self-love.

Because love is awesome. It makes you feel fabulous and invincible and happy and tingly from your head to your toes.

I mean, imagine if we all walked around complimenting each other on how selfish we are.

Saying, "Oh hey, I love how selfish you're being with your look today" and we all knew it meant, "Damn, you look so real and unique and totally you today, I love it!"

So how about it?

How about you give yourself some love the next time you're being awesomely selfish?

Go ahead and give it a try right now...look in the mirror, pat yourself on the back and congratulate yourself for a time you were selfish - with your style or otherwise! Step up and step out in a whole new way!

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ABOUT:

I'm a Minneapolis personal stylist on a mission to eradicate outdated style 'rules' so women can unleash themselves in all their beautiful, authentic glory!

I offer personal styling services that empower women to wear what they love by helping them ditch any outdated style rules keeping them stuck, showing them how to dress in a way that embraces their beautiful body and, the key to it all, having fun! I believe in a liberated style approach so there are no style rules, body shapes, seasonal colors or dos and don’ts given out here. Rather, I help my clients tap into what lights them up and dress with the purpose of expressing their authentic selves rather than impressing others.

This is all done through a combination of styling services (including wardrobe edits, shopping trips and styling sessions) available in thoughtfully curated styling packages designed to help clients unleash their true self through the power of style.

When I'm not helping women take back their power style, you can find me reading (about a gazillion books at once), learning the art of pole dancing, making & decorating cakes, binging a random circa 2000's TV show with my hubby, Aaron, while playing with my adorable rescue pup or, of course, shopping! :-)