Do you dress to blend in or stand out?
I've found that one or the other is usually the prime motivation when getting dressed. Why?
When growing up, you're taught that if you want to be safe, liked, and successful, you need to downplay your distinctive features and look like everyone else - that's how you show you belong.
But ironically, like most things in life, once you get out into the real world and start #adulting, you learn the opposite is true.
In order to get anywhere in life, you need to stand out.
If someone were to describe you to someone else, what would they say? Would they refer to you as the 'woman with the ponytail' or 'the lady in the dress?' Descriptive, but not enough that someone would know the difference between you and that other woman with the ponytail. The people who are taken seriously, get promoted, make good money, and are the most successful are the ones with unique features who stand out from their peers.
Yes, you actually need to STAND OUT.
You need your resume to stand out from the hundreds of others. You need people to remember you because you're different from everyone else they met at that networking event. You need to show what makes you unique and sets you apart from every other person out there. Whatever your goals in life, all of a sudden, you have to go against how you're wired. Against that voice that tells you to look like everyone else so you can belong and be 'safe'.
And while blending in may have been a necessary survival tactic back in high school and college, these days it's the exact opposite of what you actually need.
So let me ask you again: do you dress to blend in or stand out?
Over the years, I've learned to stand out by making bold style choices that suit my personality. And I know the right style will help you to stand out from other people too. Dressing to stand out from the crowd can help you start taking those steps to people noticing that you are different, unique, and memorable.
The right style for you will help you stand out from the crowd in a way that feels effortless and authentic, not forced.
You are a one-of-a-kind, beautiful human. Not another grape on the vine or banana in the bunch. Your style is one of the main things that will set you apart from others no matter what situation you’re in because dressing to stand out will naturally reflect your unique personality.
If you're not sure what I mean by dressing to stand out in a crowd, this may make it a little bit clearer. Take these two photos for example.
In this photo, I'm wearing a stand out style.
I'm literally standing out from everything else around me.
If you were to describe my look in this picture, you’d probably do it something like this: The girl with long, red hair wearing a bright sweater and cool patterned skirt. How many other people do you think are in the room that may look like me?
And what might you assume about me? That I am bold, confident and fun? You nailed it!
I don't even need to speak to express who I am, my clothes allow me to do that without having to say a word.
To see the difference clothes can make, now take a quick peek at this photo. In this one, I'm wearing a blend in style. The background of the photo is exactly the same. Yet I look like an entirely different person.
In this photo, I’m blending into the background
This outfit is arguably more classic than what I wore previously, but it doesn't stand out. I'm blending into the background with a stylish yet 'safe' look. You might notice me, but you probably won't remember me and you definitely don't get the full essence of my personality at a glance.
If you were to describe my look in this picture, you’d probably do it this way: The woman with long hair wearing a sweater and jeans. That could describe just about every woman I know, and probably just about every woman you know too. I’m just a woman in a chair across the room.
Besides being more memorable visually, can you spot the other way I look vastly different in these two photos?
There is a huge difference in my overall energy and presence. Creating a stand out style doesn’t just help you look good, it helps you feel good too!
I didn't even try to look more lively in the stand out photo. It just naturally happened because the vibrant colors, bold patterns and fun style brought out the fun in me and enhanced my personality!
All I did was add a pop of color and flair to my clothing with bold colors, patterns, and some stylish earrings, and all of a sudden…Tada! There’s Rachel! The stand out photo makes me literally stand out both because of the way I look and how I feel, which is impacting the tangible presence I’m exuding.
So how do you start dressing to stand out in a crowd?
Here’s a few tips to get started.
If you feel like everything you own looks just like what everyone else is wearing, start by adding a few accessories. This is a great way to dip your toe in the water because they are usually less expensive and make up a smaller portion of your outfit so you feel comfortable trying new things.
For example, if your go-to look is a skinny jeans and a striped top, try adding a pair of red ballet flats instead of the black sneakers you usually throw on. Even that small change creates a memorable, stand out style.
As you get more comfortable, you can add in more accessories. Next time, in addition to the red flats, maybe you add a small pearl necklace and oversized sunglasses to take your look in a chic, Parisian direction. Once you have more fun accessories, you can mix and match according to what you love!
Look for small details that set a piece apart from the rest.
This could be a cut out neckline or scalloped hemline on the next top you buy.
Every piece you own doesn’t need to be bold and in-your-face in order to stand out. The most subtle pieces can make a HUGE statement.
If you feel like you already own cute pieces but they’re still not having the style impact you desire, try wearing pieces that don't necessarily stand out on their own, but together create a memorable look.
If you love turquoise jewelry, show it off by layering several necklaces together to kick it up a notch! If pastels are your thing, wear a head to toe pastel look - soft blue wide leg pants with a lavender sweater and chic sea foam green clutch will definitely create a stand out look.
It isn't always easy but when you get dressed each morning and look at yourself in the mirror, remember this quote:
"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." - Oscar Wilde
That's why I talk about creating a stand out style.
It's not to force you to be something you're not.
It's to enhance who you already are so others can see it too, including you! 💕
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ABOUT:
I'm a Minneapolis personal stylist on a mission to eradicate outdated style 'rules' so women can unleash themselves in all their beautiful, authentic glory!
I offer personal styling services that empower women to wear what they love by helping them ditch any outdated style rules keeping them stuck, showing them how to dress in a way that embraces their beautiful body and, the key to it all, having fun! I believe in a liberated style approach so there are no style rules, body shapes, seasonal colors or dos and don’ts given out here. Rather, I help my clients tap into what lights them up and dress with the purpose of expressing their authentic selves rather than impressing others.
This is all done through a combination of styling services (including wardrobe edits, shopping trips and styling sessions) available in thoughtfully curated styling packages designed to help clients unleash their true self through the power of style.
When I'm not helping women take back their power style, you can find me reading (about a gazillion books at once), learning the art of pole dancing, making & decorating cakes, binging a random circa 2000's TV show with my hubby, Aaron, while playing with my adorable rescue pup or, of course, shopping! :-)